Trust
by rgs38
Summary: Just after the ending scene of "Through A Glass Darkly." A look into Wordy and Ed's minds as they consider the implications of what Ed's found and what's happening to Wordy. Different style, read A/N for more info. Spoilers: "Through A Glass Darkly."


Trust

_I've broken my own rule, I'm writing more than one story at once. It's not my fault though! That last scene, the previews for next week...I need to write this one or else I'm going to explode. This is the first time I've tried this format, I don't think I'm going to like it but I got this idea. Basically, I was imagining Ed and Wordy right after "Through a Glass Darkly" and I was having the scene cutting between them; in TV world it works great but in written word, not so much. So Wordy is regular font and Ed will be italics; thoughts for both of them will be in bold. I hope this works. I don't own Flashpoint._

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><p>"Hey," He called out as he saw Ed in the corner of his vision. "SIU?" No other words were needed to understand the meaning of the question and no words are needed to explain the answer, a simple shrug conveying the meaning easily. A slight pause fell between them as Wordy considered, yet again, if he really wanted to go down this path right now. He couldn't maintain his lies though, Ed knew.<p>

"I had an appointment."

"Okay."

"Everything's fine though, okay? I didn't mention it to Shel 'cause I didn't want her to get worried." It was mostly the truth and he hoped that that would be enough. "But everything's fine." He added again, hoping that his nervousness wasn't showing.

"Alright, look, whatever's going on between you two is none of my business." He stepped up, not sure why he was growing so confrontational with his friend. "That's not what worries me. What worries me is that I know you. I can read you."

"I just need you to-" Wordy tried to stop him before he continued, before he worked his way through the rest of the web of lies he had been weaving for months.

"And you are still not being straight with me. And as long as your a member of my team that is my business."

"Eddie, I need you to just trust me." There was almost a pleading quality to his voice as he spoke as confidently as he could muster.

"You got something you wanna tell me?"

"Do you trust me?" His voice now accusatory, not sure what happened over the past months to rock the foundation of their long friendship and partnership. Ed's non-answer was enough of an explanation as he slammed his locker door and bounded out of the room and out of the building. It wasn't until he was behind the wheel of his truck and had put some distance between himself and the station before he released the breath he was holding.

"What the hell are you doing, Wordy?" He asked himself as he drove down the dark streets. "Ed's your friend here and you know he trusts you." He tried to convince himself as a pang of guilt made his muscles tense. "You need him now more than ever..."

_ He couldn't believe how quickly he'd made the decision. Wordy had barely even left the room before he got the tools to break the lock. It had briefly crossed his mind that there was no going back from this decision, that his relationship with Wordy could never be the same if he did this, but right now worry and frustration were the only things controlling his actions. He intentionally kept his eyes directly in front of him as he popped open the locker. Pictures of Wordy's girls, girls that he loved like his own kids, stared at him from the doors of the locker, brightly colored drawings scattered between the memories. His arms almost resisted as he reached into his friend's locker and started to go through his things. When his fingers wrapped around the pill bottle he felt his stomach lurch._

_ "No..." He let out an involuntary whisper, realizing that his fears were being confirmed. He tried to read the words on the label but the letters didn't seem to go together, the odd combination didn't seem to form a recognizable word. The only thing that Ed recognized on the bottle was Wordy's name...Kevin...no one ever called him Kevin aside from his wife or when some official commander; even Hollaran didn't call him Kevin. _

_ Ed sat down on the bench near Wordy's locker and held the bottle in his hands, trying to figure out what everything meant. He'd been jumpy and anxious ever since the psych evaluation months ago, but they all had been. He'd been quiet too but Wordy was never really talkative. _

_ "You're rationalizing, Eddie." He said out loud to himself, trying to convince himself to accept what he was finding. "You know that Wordy doesn't have a drug habit, he's sick. He's sick and he doesn't trust you enough to tell you about it." The realization hit him hard. Trust was earned, not implicit and they had spent years earning each other's trust on the beat. Now though, that moment of hesitation during their conversation would be the downturn of the friendship. Trust wasn't just earned, it was mutual and Ed had disrupted that flow._

He'd found himself sitting in his driveway more often these days. He loved walking through that front door and seeing his family, he loved the feeling of love and unrestrained acceptance that he felt coming from his girls and his wife, but lately it took him a long time to work up the courage to face them. There were lots of times he'd needed to put on a brave face for his family; when Jules was shot, when Lou was killed, all the times that he was injured in the line of duty, but he'd had definitive answers to those questions. Those problems were easy compared to what it seemed their future would be. He shouldered the knowledge of that burden alone though, knowing that the moment he let go of the secret, things would start to fall a part.

He shook his head clear and finally got out of the truck, heading towards the front door quickly. He didn't want Shelly to worry about his whereabouts, there'd be enough to worry about in the future.

"I'm home." He called out softly as he walked in the front door and slipped his shoes off. He thought that he heard the girls giggling upstairs; usually their laughter would be enough to put a smile on his face but there was too much on his mind tonight.

"In the kitchen." Shelly's voice drifted through the hall as he made his way towards the warm kitchen. "Your dinner is wrapped up in the oven." She said as he walked over and wrapped his huge arms around her in a hug. She returned the gentle squeeze for a long moment as he kept his arms interlocked behind her, her head resting on his chest. She didn't want to interrupt the moment that he obviously needed but she could tell that something had happened. Shelly gently moved her body a bit so she could see her husband better.

"Kev, what's wrong?" Her voice was gentle, almost soothing. She'd seen Wordy like this after particularly bad calls but it felt like there was something more. It took a moment for him to stand up straight and force himself to smile.

"Nothing Shel," He said as he turned towards the oven to take out a warm plate of chicken and rice. "Just a tough day." He didn't look at her again as he walked over to the table for fear that she would notice his glassy eyes. She waited a moment to see if he would elaborate before sitting down in the seat next to him.

"What happened this morning?" She asked in a conversational tone. "Greg called here looking for you but you'd left two hours earlier..." His muscles tensed as he tried to keep his lies straight.

"You know it's a funny story." He said as he took a large bite of his food to give himself a moment's pause. "I left early to stop at the bookstore and get a new book and I just sat down and started to read it and when I looked up I was already late." He smiled as he took another bite. The food was difficult to get down considering how much he just felt like throwing up. Lying to his boss, his friend, and now his wife...what would be next? She nodded slowly and began to speak, a concealed edge of suspicion to her tone.

"What's the book about?"

"Well..." He started to rack his mind for something to say as he took an exceedingly long drink of water. "It was more a technical book...a biography." He intentionally kept things vague, not wanting to talk himself into something he couldn't get out of. "What did you do today?" He asked, not so subtly trying to change the topic. She looked at his with a firm expression before speaking again.

"Want to tell me what really happened?" She tried to keep herself firm but sympathy and concern broke through.

_ Ed walked into his home about forty minutes late, not his worst record by far but he was already wincing expectantly. He had promised Sophie that overtime was no more for him and he knew that she would understand that it was the SIU investigation that took so long but he still wasn't looking forward to those first few minutes that she thought he'd went back on their deal. _

_ "Anyone home?" He said in a loud whisper. He wasn't sure if Izzy was asleep so he walked through the home carefully until he came across his wife. "Sophie, I'm so sorry I'm late." He started before she could get a word in. "I had to see SIU today and they took forever to interview me and then the debrief got pushed back. I got out of there as fast as I could." He said as he sat down on the couch next to her. _

_ "I understand Ed, it's okay." She said slowly as she turned and looked directly at him, making sure that he saw her sincerity. He let out a breath and leaned back a bit, rubbing his temples, glad that at least one thing was off his mind. "You okay?" She asked cautiously. SIU usually meant it was a bad day and she wasn't sure if he'd want to talk about it. _

_ "I'm fine." He said he well rehearsed catchphrase easily, almost letting it slip between his lips without thinking. He leaned forward a bit as Sophie moved closer. _

_ "Want a beer or something, you look stressed." She said softly into his ear as he shook his head without a word. She sat up a bit, slightly worried as she tried to find his eyes. "Ed." She said simply to try and force him to look at her. He glanced up and his eyes stuck to her's for a moment. "What's wrong? Is it the SIU case?" She asked, more knowledgable than she ever wanted to be about police procedure._

_ "No, no he was a real bad guy." Ed said simply, not needing to elaborate on what he had done in order for that sentence to be in past tense. "It's...just some stuff with the team." He said slowly, not wanting to say too much, not really having much to say. _

_ "What about the team?" She asked, surprise evident. Ed's team was Ed's second life and second family. She couldn't remember a time that he'd had serious problems with anyone on the team. _

_ "It's nothing Soph," He tried to convince her but knew immediately that it hadn't worked. She looked at him again firmly, knowing that she was not going to leave the room without a more sufficient answer. He eventually relented under her intense stare. "It's really nothing. It's just..." He thought quickly about something to say. He didn't want to tell her about Wordy and worry her with the non-answers he was dealing with. "since I've come back to the team it's been weird with Sam. He was in command for a few months and now I come back and he steps down, it's just an odd transition for everyone and there's some tension." He wasn't completely lying, it had been an odd transition for the team, but one that took place weeks ago. She still seemed hesitant._

_ "Well, with time it'll work out." She said with a bit of a suspicious look. "You sure that's all that's bothering you?" _

"It's nothing, just a bad day." She looked at him with sympathetic eyes and he felt the need to tell her some truth of the day. "Ed and I had a slight disagreement this afternoon." Wordy minimized things as he put his plate in the dishwasher.

"Oh, I'm sorry honey." Shelly said softly as she followed him into the den and sat next to him. She put her arm around him as she rubbed small, comforting circles around his upper arm. "What did you disagree about?" She asked gently, not wanting to pry but wanting to understand. Wordy thought for a moment before speaking carefully.

"About a call." He said simply. "I wanted to use one entrance, I thought there was better cover, and he thought that another door gave us better access." He again resented the fact that he was lying to his wife but he chocked it up as a necessary reality of his current predicament.

"Well, I'm sure you guys will be able to work it out." She shrugged and leaned close to him. "You've been best friends for...gosh I don't even know how long now, but you guys always work things out." She said knowingly. He knew that this time was different, that the accusations were much worse than a flawed entry plan, but he couldn't express that to Shelly.

"I hope so." He said simply as he pulled away from her slightly. "It just feels like he doesn't trust me." The words flew out of his mouth before he even had time to think about the repercussions. Shelly sat up a bit and looked at her husband. He looked exhausted and frustrated and she knew that it had been mounting over the past few months.

"He trusts you, Kevin." She spoke with cool confidence as he looked at her with a question.

"How do you know?" He couldn't resist asking the question as she smiled.

"If he didn't trust you, he wouldn't have bothered to argue with you; he wouldn't have even asked your opinion if he didn't value it." He nodded and, though she was speaking of the hypothetical situation that he had fed to her, he couldn't help but apply it to the real issue. "Trust is the most important quality you guys all share with each other and somewhere along the line that trust turned into something more. That bond you guys have, it's something that can never really be broken...does that make sense?" She asked as he squinted a bit and nodded, understanding what she was trying to imply. "You look exhausted Kevin, why don't you go to bed early? I'll clean up and get the girls to sleep." Shelly offered as he stood and gave her a kiss.

"If you only knew the half of it." He said with a forced smile, knowing that soon enough, he would have to tell her.

_ He couldn't use Izzy as an excuse tonight. Of course, the night that she was sleeping soundly he was wide awake, unable to stop his mind. He thought that the internet would help him get to the bottom of what was going on, part of him still really hoping that those little blue pills were for headaches, but he knew he'd be proven wrong. The possibilities ran through his mind, only made worse by what he found as he had searched the web for some use of the medication that did not spell disaster for his friend and team mate. _

_ He had wanted to call Wordy all night and talk about what was going on but he couldn't get himself to dial the number. He knew that things would blow up and get much worse before they would get better. There was no way to avoid telling Wordy that he had broken into his locker, gone through his things, and researched the medication he was secretly taking...well not without having a black eye and a cold shoulder to look forward to. _

_ He got up from bed and softly went down the stairs and into the kitchen. He tried to convince himself that he was thirsty but he really just couldn't stay still any longer. Even if he avoided the conversation tonight, Wordy would find out what he'd done in the morning; beyond that, he'd have to tell Greg what he knew and they'd have to think about the repercussions. Even thinking about the day ahead made his head pound and his heart race. _

_ "I'm about to throw my best friend under a bus." He said out loud to himself, trying to get himself used to the idea. "You know that's not true, he's sick and he can't be on the job." He was fighting with himself now, just as he'd been fighting with himself all day, but no side was winning. _

_ It all came down to the question Wordy had asked, did Ed trust him. The answer was a resolute yes. Ed would trust Wordy with his life and the lives of his family without hesitation; the issue was that he did hesitate. In that instant he wasn't sure what he was reading on Wordy's face. It wasn't the Wordy he knew though. In that moment, he trusted Wordy, he just didn't trust what he was saying. It was a subtle difference but one that changed everything, one that he couldn't vocalize at that point. It was that hesitation that would make things go to hell in the morning. He didn't even want to think about the morning. _

_ Right now, everything was suspended in an unofficial limbo; tomorrow things would become real and there would be consequences for both of them. There would be pain and lies and anger in both of them and Ed knew that the chances of cathartic release in such a highly charged emotional mindset would be unlikely, he just prayed that it wouldn't last long. He needed his friend, for better or worse. He would be angry for a long time, time that Ed wasn't sure they had to waste, but he'd brought it upon himself and he knew that he would need to wait for Wordy to get over that anger. _

_ "And I'll be there." He made a promise to himself that he intended on keeping it no matter what._

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><p><em>Ahhh, not sure if I like the structure or the ending too much but I needed to write something. I'm still working on that Sam story, don't worry, it'll be here eventually. By the way, I specifically avoided saying what Wordy has because I don't know and theorizing only makes me more worried about his fate. But enough of that. Please tell me what you think...pretty please. Also, check out "Flashpoint Team One" on facebook. It's a page run directly by the producers and we've got awesome fan interaction, contests, behind the scene stuff, and discussions. <em>


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